Color and Ecstacy

I was talking to an interviewer for an art magazine today and we touched on the subject of color, and it brought to mind a great book by an author named Bruce Wilkerson entitled “Wild Hunger.” What I took away from the book was the deep disconnect we’ve developed with genuine ecstacy and how so many of our modern addictions are caused by our misguided efforts to cope with the  suffering we experience without it. There is something in a good painting that brings one into that “ecstatic” state- if even for just a moment- even that short moment brings a healing that only such an encounter can bring. When I studied with Fritz Scholder we spent as much time talking about “artist as shaman” as we did studying painting, and something I learned from him was that when I start to bring all of the chaos of the underpainted surface (the descent) there is an ascension taking place and the color is a manifestation of that transcendental and enchanted state (or moment) that is the necessary precurser to all creation, and in my opinion the highest calling in art is to be an artist that paints (or makes music or peotry or dances) in faith and delivers that moment to the viewer. There was a quote in Sun Magazine right after 9/11 that said something to the effect that “the world now needs artists and poets as much as it needs firemen, policemen and doctors- the artist is the shaman of the 21st century.”  I do take that charge very seriously- but I also have a hell of a lot of fun doing it.

“Life is serious but art is fun.” J. Irving

 

Spring   48 x 36

 

 

Out of Chaos (Seriph)  36 x 24

Shadows, Demons and Other Unwelcome Guests

OK- so I just posted about color returning. A 180 here- the shadow- the “Scream” inside us all.

I’ve read a ton of literature on the shadow- a lot of Jung, Sanford, Kelsey and I can parrot what they say about “integrating” the shadow, but truth is I’m still somewhat clueless- I know he’s there- not much denial going on in my mind- but even at that, as soon as I say there’s no denial- that’s denial in itself-  I’m sure my defense mechanisms are well-oiled and operating at peak performance. We all want to think, or more accurately have others think that we’re healthy, well-adjusted, enlightened Spiritually advanced people, and admitting to this “dark passenger” is the hardest thing for us- be it shame, fear of vulnerability, fear of losing control, fear of discovery, whatever the case- we all have it, and facing it is the bravest thing we can do- and the only way to ever get control of it- if controlling it is the objective.

But integrate? I’ve read so many books and articles and listened to messages, and still I’m pretty damn clueless. but as AA says- “the first step is admitting that one cannot control one’s…” I prefer the word “realize”, as the word “admit” sounds too negative and shame-based. There is no shame in owning one’s shadow- only liberation.

The good news is that putting things on canvas, in clay, to music, or poetry is always an amazing way of processing things- both beautiful and terrible. Get it out there where I can see it for what it is- familiarize yourself with it- this opponent or ally or more correctly a combination of the two. Somehow this shadow, this scream is a necessary part of our psychological makeup, or that’s what they say. Maybe a big reason we’re here is to learn just what that “integration” is? I think it is. The shamen call it a Helper, an Ally, and I do know the Daemon in me is what empowers so much of my art- there are times when it’s just a little too powerful and hard to keep a handle on, and that’s where the trouble sometimes starts-or is that where the healing begins? A Gordon’s Knot for sure…

 

The Scream

Submerged

Shadow Man

Marauder

Color Returns

A few months ago I had a friend of mine courier a load of paintings down to Taos and Santa Fe. When she brought back some of the old Santa fe work, when she was handing the paintings to me, most of them layered in whites that nearly obscured the subject , her eyes teared up- she said “Lance- you’ve lost your color.” I’d never thought of it that way until then.  The last decade was fraught with constant challenges with moving to Colorado and realizing we made a Big mistake, but too late- a decade of a wife’s multiple sclerosis and  her later  leaving the marriage, losing my family, my daughter, my art career for all intents and purposes to the recession, and then a lost love to finish it off. Not crying “victim-” this isn’t about self-pity or being indiscreet about my personal drama. It really is about seeing how my art chronicled those events in my life not entirely by the subject matter but almost more by the palette I uesd throughout those ordeals.

Kali Goes to Cali

Kali- She destroys only to build again. She came to get me from California and translplant me in Colorado- leaving behind 40 years of friendships and business to return “home” with my family to the place where I was born and lived my childhood. What promised to be a new life in the place I remembered as paradise became instead a bit more of a hell- the beginning of the disintegration of my entire life as I knew it. The first year there was spent in entire isolation- the worst winter in years- buried under mountains of snow in a mountain studio- no one there but me through an entire winter and the ensuing year. A spiritual death- the disintegration of the shaman- Kali beginning her work…

Rocker   48 x 48

The Rocker. Although credit needs to be given to model Valeri Kimbro for posing for this- it, as many paintings that are universal in their application are, turns out to be a self- portrait. A picture of a person struggling to stay seated in a wildly out of control rocking chair- and at the same time the monotony of rocking slowly back and forth in a stupor induced by the inability to handle the collapse of all I held dear, and the gnawing loneliness and fight with the feeling of sanity slipped away as a result of the  relentless isolation, the struggle with debilitating disease and marital disintegration, of the fears born when a once thriving career comes to a sudden halt and you see no way out- ultimate ruin steadily advancing at a slow but relentless pace. Kali stepping up her agenda…

La Niebla  36 x 48

La Niebla- the Fog… Funny- This was part of a large series of paintings I did right after Katrina- paintings of the loss and ruin brought on by that horrific hurricane- and realizing at the end of the series that is was, in fact, a metaphor for the ruin and devastation that was taking place as the spectacle of affairs and adultries were washing away the foundation of famiy and home, and like new Orleans, my life, my marriage, and everything that entailed collapsed and went up in flames. And so far from home. It was like being lost in a dense, glaring fog, disoriented and not having a clue which way was up or out. And worst of all- as a result of all this- I’d lost my color.

Winter Elk   40 x 30

I did this today- kind of a tribute to that period of painting (The “White Series?”) Something funny about suffering- while we’re distracted and so hyper-aware of our own suffering, something beautiful is taking place. Four years later, I look now and see myself not only as “surviving” the last decade, but I see myself transformed into something not unlike the Elk- seasoned and strong with  antlers that have grown massive and formidible through the struggles they’d endured. Dignity intact and ennobled by a grace unseen that knew what it was doing the entire time. Even in a “white” and more subdued piece like this, color can no longer be restrained. Color is returning.

Spirit Bear   24 x 18

This one was done this week- a return to color, especially spring colors- the bear coming out of hibernation into a world of  healing, strength and beauty. (…and be not cynical about love, for in the face of aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.) I almost stopped believing it would ever happen, but color is definitely coming back into my life. I guess maybe it’s a case of time heals all wounds (although my dad used to say “time wounds all heals”) but for the last month or two I’ve noticed a return to myself taking place. The last decade seems more like a dream than a reality, and life once again feels a certain freshness- a renewal taking place that is palatable- and very visible in recent work.

Dancing Bear   36 x 24

Another painting done this week. Not just color, but dance! Liberation, celebration- a life renewed, redemption, and a return to myself that I had all but given up hope on ever occuring again. Strength and confidence in myself (and my Creator) and a simple joy in the everyday living of a life once again in bloom and bursting with color. Fun even. “Life is serious but art is fun.” John irving

Drifting   24 x 36

Another one I just did this week. Almost too much to be said about this one. Rising above- above loss, both years past and recent, taking all of it in stride and relatively unaffected by any of it any more- healing and soul retreival and more- another development I didn’t see manifesting- the gift of flight- and more than that, color. It’s good to be back…

Knock Out (Series)

Part of the reason I’ve been doing these paintings is that I just love boxing. Not just the punching and macho stuff. The unreal training they do- the pain they endure, the dedication they put forth for often not much return is just so impressive to me. I’m finding that the human in boxing form lends itself to almost Michelangelo qualities in their rendering.  I’m really loving doing the charcoal drawing and leaving the good parts-  I’m thinking of Rembrandt, Michelangelo, Da Vinci- those gorgeous renderings they’d leave showing through in just the right places.

That being said, the pieces are violent, and no doubt I’my expressing some rage- an ire and a wrath that I carry- we’ve all acquired some of it along the way . I guess I’m fortunate in that  I can unload my punches on the canvas instead of acting out or repressing it- which we all know eventually leads to acting out even worse. So- yeah, there’s a part of me that I’m sure is fighting back against the things in life that have hurt me (or tried to.)  These paintngs feel really good to do. Pow! Bam!

TKO (Connecting)   18 x 24

JAB   12 x 12

Shape Shifters

SHAPESHIFTER (Kiss)   12 X 12

I’ve been painting Shape Shifters for the last year or two. It’s been more a matter of instinct than of any conscious choice.  Speaking about them will probably be as enlightening to me as it is to you… 

I know one thing I say in my bio is that all paintings are a self-portrait of sorts, yet universal in their application. I do know that this series has been my most enjoyable and has expressed some deep desire in me to find healing from the events of the past few years- namely divorce and other losses. When I paint it’s almost as if I’m dreaming on canvas, and the archetypes that appear all have a message or an effect to convey. One common theme that seems to be appearing in this series is a kind of transformation or emergence, and the shifting that’s taking place into various animals or elements is bringing the subject into contact with the particular qualities or mythological symbol of the particular entity that the soul calls up.

The rabbit is a symbol of Spring- of new birth and fertility. The bear and hibernation is also a symbol of a type of resurrection, bringing the healing power of the bear where to the person who has retreated in order to regenerate and grow. In one painting a woman is transforming into water, which would suggest a flowing as opposed to a resistance. Also- water just feels so soothing, and sometimes I think we just go to a place where we can just relax and frolic in a beautiful sea like dolphins or cavort in the air like a bird.  Sometimes art just has to be playful.

On a final note, two qualities have been manifesting in the newer work. One is that the Shape shifters are becoming dancers, as if to celebrate the healing and interior growth that’s come through this process.  Also- dance is a universal vehicle used to access that ecstatic state where the act of shifting actually takes place. The second quality is like that more and more white is being used in the paintings, as if the subject were bathed in light or exuding the light that he himself has been infused with through his healing process. It’s always the artist’s hope that the healing he receives through painting will be conveyed to the viewer.

Shape Shifter (Cat)   18 x 24

 

 

 

Street Dancer III

My Daughter is a dancer. She studied with the San Francisco Ballet for eight years. Several things aboutt dancers have moved me to paint them, and I’ve always loved to. One thing, of course is just the love I have for dance because of my daughter. I’m a proud Dad. Every dancer painting I do is a tribute to her of sorts.  Another thing that I’m enthralled with is the form and movement found in dancers. There is always drama and more often than not a passion in the movements of all kinds of dancers- every dance is a ritual of some kind. Even the most modern dance has elements of the primal- the primal instinct to move in beautiful ways.

The style is definitely all my own, but once again here I’m giving a nod to more of a Street Art style. The figure is shaded in charcoal, and the charcoal rendering betrays itself beneath the washes of paint. One day soon I’m going to do something like this on a wall dowtown- but you didn’t hear me say that.

Shapeshifter (harlem) 48 x 36

Finally.. two days of ruined, muddy paintngs. Amazing how fast you can kill a beautiful piece of work with just one or two strokes. But, i never worry- never. The trick in this game is to just stand there and keep applying paint. It’s all about patience and faith- faith in the Muses, faith in myself, faith in whatever that is that always rewards one when they remain tenacious.

I’m pretty much a kid from the streets, and I’ve always loved street art. From the beautiful fonts the gang kids used (which is to me the 20th and 21st century’s contribution to calligraphy) in tagging their monickers on walls, trains, freeway bridges, etc. to the murals in Catholic Churches and Virgin Marys on liquor stores and tire repair shops in East L.A.

There is a huge resurgence of fresh street artists, and it’s become such a force as to merit the cover of ArtNews magazine last month. Anyway, as I said in a recent blog, I’ve been wanting to try some more street art influenced, more graphic shapes in expressing my figures, and I think I got a good one today. I’m not trying to ape the great street artists and muralists, but I do like to soak in some contemporary influences and I think I got lucky today and captured some of their essence while retaining my own style. Not an easy thing to do, but it does keep one from getting in a rut and repeating the same cold soup…

This figure- the urban dancer, seems to embody such a dichotomy of raw/ primal and 21st century urban hip. Voodoo meets Rebirth of Cool…  I think I’m going to like this little foray into some new territory. Feels fresh.

Nocturne (Gothic) 40 x 30

Sometimes you get going on a painting in a kind of aimless way and all of a sudden there’s this voice that says “stop…right there.”  That’s one of the things I love about painting- the surprises that appear when you just trust and apply paint in a way that gives the power to the brushes and the canvas. I’ve always had a thing about steeples, especially in the moonlight. I suppose there’s some kind of psychlogy about this there always being hope even in the dark night. But, as I’ve remarked in previous posts, in this one I really just like the visceral effect this has. Sometimes you just find yourself expressing more of a mood than a scene or a figure. I like to be open ot the leading of the muse, whatever she may bring out of me. Painting is, for me,  one of the best lessons I know in trust and surrender.

Mirth 40 x 30

Funny- today I started off to do a very simple line drawing on a background that was totally flat and monochromatic.  It’s a very popular style, and I always like to stay abreast of trends in art in order to keep from getting stale. But, my painting had other ideas. For me sometimes painting is like riding a wild horse with sharp spurs and no bridle. I just kind of kick and hang on. This was one of those days when I just couldn’t “get it.” I failed and destroyed three paintngs today- just unable to resolve anything. Each painting would be almost done and then with one wrong stroke I’d kill it. When that happens I don’t give in to frustration, I just hunker dawn and keep putting paint on the canvas- and after a while I’ve given up on trying to produce anything specific- I just keep applying paint and see where it takes me. Ther’s some tough things going on in my life, and I’d been really distracted and uptight all day, and suddenly- Mirth appeared. This knowing Entity just came along and with her smile I knew that once again by surrendering to the canvas something appeared that I could never have contrived.

Unbound (Captives Free) 48 x 36

I’ve always love Francis bacon, but i don’t like his paintings. That solid orange he uses for backgrounds is almost putrid. But, there is an interview with him publiched by Phaedon that is the best interview I’ve ever read. His idea of taking a figure and grinding it and morphing it into something altogether other-worldy resonated with me in a away that very few artists ever have.

I had no intention of emulating Bacon in this painting but it just kind of turned out that way, except the colors are nothing like his. You just never know what’s going to appear on the canvas at the end of the day.